Why "Pride?"

I've heard and read some folks in the past few days wondering "what all this Pride business is about."

June is LGBTQ+ Pride Month around the world.  Many communities, large and small, have celebrations during this month to recognize the contributions that LGBTQ+ persons make and have made over time, and to recall the struggle for acceptance that so many people have endured--both gay persons and those who are straight "allies"-- to ensure that all are treated with dignity and respect.

One such example of struggle was the Stonewall Inn Uprising in New York City's Greenwich Village in the summer of 1969.  Lesbian, gay, and transgender bar patrons, long targeted by the city's police department, finally had enough, and fought back against their oppressors.  This specific incident, which actually played out over several nights that hot summer, is considered a seminal moment in the ongoing fight for LGBTQ+ equality.

There are many who are uncomfortable with all of the ways in which LGBTQ+ Pride is celebrated.  "Why all the fuss?" they ask.  "Why can't they keep all of that to themselves?" many wonder.  Others are more pointed in their criticism, questioning whether or not LGBTQ+ persons even have the right to move freely and fearlessly in public space.  And still others are so threatened or hate-filled when it comes to gay, Lesbian, and gender nonconforming persons that they commit brutal acts of violence against them.

I think it's helpful to contextualize the present with reminders of the path that brought us here.  There are many examples from the not-to-distant past (and present) when other marginalized and oppressed groups have been criticized for asserting their right to dignity and respect.  Labels like "uppity" and "militant" have been applied.  Those who occupy the comfortable seats in society lament, "Why can't we all just get along?" rather than lean in willingly for a close look into the seething pit of toxic racism, xenophobia, sexism, and--yes--homophobia.

So why "Pride?"  One antonym for pride is shame.  Shame is what many LGBTQ+ people have felt all their lives, and continue to feel.  Perhaps they have been told they should be ashamed of who they are by their parents, family, and friends.  Perhaps the messages they hear repeatedly from their religious communities condemning them for their orientation or gender identity have overwhelmed them with shame.  Maybe it's the constant bullying and harassment that one endures for years that begins to sink in and fill one's heart with shame.

Shame makes you keep secrets, live lies, and make bad health choices.  Shame steals your joy.  Shame is contagious--like a virus, it's easily spread.  Shame poisons relationships, particularly with those you love the most.   This I know.

Sadly, for too many, shame kills.  LGBTQ+ teenagers attempt suicide at five times the rate of straight adolescents.  Is it because they are tormented by their orientation or gender, or tormented by the shame they are made to feel about their orientation or gender?

So for the month of June, LGBTQ+ people counter shame with its antonym--pride.  The celebrations are reminders that all are worthy of the right to exist freely and fearlessly in public space.  Every person is entitled to dignity and respect. 

We show dignity and respect--and create shame--through the words we use.  When a Catholic bishop tweets that Pride celebrations should be considered "harmful," especially for children, the implication that sexual orientation and pedophilia are synonymous is more than ironic…it's shaming and it's shameful. 

When Texas lawmakers refuse, legislative session after legislative session, to decriminalize same-gender relationships, it's shaming and it's shameful.

When an elected official dismissively refers to a group of citizens (including constituents, presumably) as "the LGBT or 'whatever' community," the comments are understandably received as disrespectful.

And, at the same time, when the reaction to those comments rises no higher than mocking the official's haircut rather than persuasively condemning the ideas with both conviction and civility, the greater purpose of lifting up the LGBTQ+ community is not served.

Dignity and respect should travel in all directions.  Let's continue to lift one another up, calling out hate when it is shown and using love, dignity, and respect as the tools for teaching new ways of thinking and living in community. 

Happy Pride 2019!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Day at the Courthouse

Just another "Texan Tall Tale".... “They look so young,” the gray-haired woman said wistfully to her spouse as she looked toward the counter on the opposite side of the small courthouse lobby.  He smiled and nodded in agreement. She had spied the youthful couple when they entered the building, holding hands and smiling as they strode confidently across the linoleum floor, across to the window marked, “County Clerk—Marriage Licenses.”   Seeing them made her think of a day long ago when she and her beau had taken that same walk. The woman began to create a story in her mind about the youngsters as she saw them being greeted by the clerk.  She imagined the young man to be named Mark, like her grandson.  In fact, he looked a bit like him. The girl?  She looked like a “Kelli” or “Brandi,” or some other name that could end with either “i” or “y.”  They’d probably met at college, through mutual friends, no doubt.  They looked comfortable with...
Read more

An Open Letter to My President

January 21, 2017   The President The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, DC 20500 Dear Mr. President: As a proud citizen of the United States, I want to extend my congratulations to you on the occasion of your inauguration.  The events of this weekend, starting with the words of your speech, all the way through the many demonstrations across the country in response to your ascent to the highest, most respected office in our great country, have moved me to write to you, my president . My president .  Many, like me, have struggled with that notion.  Many Americans have decided that they cannot refer to you as such.  They, like me, did not support you, nor did they vote for you.  They, like me, have been alternately baffled, amused, and frightened by the things you have said and done in the past months.  Though many of my friends and loved ones who did support you suggest that we take you seriously rather than lite...
Read more

No Time But the Present

Presence. After our recent holiday break, a colleague shared how much she enjoyed visiting with her elderly grandmother during our time off. “One thing that is so great about her,” she explained, “is how she absolutely lives fully in the present moment!” “Of course,” she continued, “she then re-lives that moment again…and again…but each time, she’s really present!” We chuckled as she told that story, and I was reminded of a lunch with two important people just a few years ago. One was a high school teacher who was, and is, one of my most valuable mentors. Mr.“A” invited his mentor, Mr. “G,” to join us. Mr. “G” was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s Disease, still physically capable but already showing signs of impairment to his short-term memory. As we ate our lunch and told stories about our past experiences with one another, Mr. “G” delighted in telling one particular story about Mr. “A”from the “old” days at Miller High School. We laughed, and in a matter of moments, Mr. “G” b...
Read more